The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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