You work out of a Hotel?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
