I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
