What a fucking waste of an outfit
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
