Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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