Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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