and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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