All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian