1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?