I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.