i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.