what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
