Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
