Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
