Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
