You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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