shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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