Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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