hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
