Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
