What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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