Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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