I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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