I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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