It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
