sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
