I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
