His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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