1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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