please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
