Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
