i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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