I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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