I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
