I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
