as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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