Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
