I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
