We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
