I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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