porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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