I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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