He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
