Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Every concussion has its silver lining
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dicks are not precious.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
