just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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