You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
