After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
