I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
