Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
