apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize