We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I party with great urgency now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
