the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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