My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
