if i died would you start the facebook group?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
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Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize