can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
