11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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