Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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