I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
