im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
