I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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