You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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