i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
