think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
