Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
