my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize