Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
