You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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