Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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