I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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