Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
