So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
