My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
