That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
