The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
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I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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